Phwoar! Fëanáro’s sons bare all for charity

Tirion Y.T. 1492

As our readers will know, Tirion’s annual charity calendar features artfully posed naked photos of local Noldor heartthrobs.

Happily, Fëanáro’s seven sons have banded together to provide the subject of this year’s calendar. To the delight of elf maidens everywhere, the calendar features plenty of individual shots as well as group portraits. Here is the Times of Arda‘s definitive ranking of the individual portraits of Fëanáro’s gorgeous brood:

1.Nelyafinwë really earns his mother-name in this calendar*; he is pictured posing on a mountaintop, luscious copper locks flowing in the wind. Intriguingly, this portrait reveals a mysterious tattoo on Nelyafinwë’s thigh which seems to begin with an ‘F’. Readers, if you know who this lucky Miss (or Mr!) ‘F’ might be, write in to tell us at the Times of Arda!

2. Makalaurë’s soulful gaze is enough to melt the heart of any woman, as he sits by the seashore at Alqualondë cradling a well-placed harp.

3. A heavily-muscled Tyelkormo is pictured striding through a forest, wielding a large bow and followed by his faithful hound Huan.

4&5. Ambarussa – pictured casually leaning against a fountain, with only some trailing vines for coverage, these redheaded twins really are two for the price of one!

6. Curufinwë poses artfully next to a tongue of fire in a smithy that’s oh-so-hot.

7. Carnistir is dark and brooding, in a black and white portrait.

We think this year’s calendar will sell out fast, so get hold of a copy while you still can. All profits go to the Tirion Society for the Protection of Animals (TSPA).


*Notes for confused readers:

Nelyafinwë = Maedhros (his mother name, Maitimo, means ‘well-shaped one’)
Carnistir = Caranthir
Makalaurë = Maglor
Tyelkormo = Celegorm
Ambarussa = Amrod and Amras
Curufinwë = Curufin

 

 

 

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