Tirion, F.A. 1487
Artanis Finarfinion and Tyelkormo Fëanorion have indisputably been Tirion’s golden couple for the last few decades. With both of them enjoying stunning good looks, renowned athleticism, and shared royal pedigree, pundits were betting on a marriage within the next century.
However, it has just emerged that the seemingly inseparable pair have split up acrimoniously, and shocking rumours of Tyelkormo’s alleged infidelity are flying around Tirion.
So what exactly happened to disturb these lovebirds in their royally feathered nest? The Times of Arda spoke to a close friend of Artanis’ to find out more.
To be honest, their relationship has been on the rocks for some time now, because Artanis felt Tyelkormo wasn’t paying her enough attention.
The crunch point came when Artanis discovered that Tyelkormo was arranging secret trysts with Aredhel. Some of us spotted them hunting together just hours after he had called off a sailing expedition with Artanis with the excuse that he felt unwell.
When Artanis confronted Tyelkormo, he admitted that he’d fallen in love with Aredhel. He swore nothing had happened between them, but given what an – ahem – physical person Tyelkormo is, that seems frankly unlikely.
There was lots of shouting and swearing, and Artanis smashed a couple of priceless vases when aiming them at her former lover; she’s always had a beastly temper, and hopefully this whole mess will take her down a peg or two!
However, as well as Tyelkormo’s dalliance with Aredhel, the Times of Arda can reveal that Tyelkormo decided to admit to the affair because his father had been pressuring him to break the match off anyway.
It seems that Fëanor has always disapproved of his son courting the daughter of one of his hated half-brothers. If that’s the case, though, one imagines he won’t be much pleased with Tyelkormo’s new choice of lover either.
Artanis is reported to have developed an implacable hatred of Fëanor. She insisted, in an outburst heard by one of our correspondents, that:
I, for one, have always seen through that awful Fëanor. I perceive a darkness in him which I hate and fear.
Anyway, I never really liked any of his sons. What I desire has absolutely nothing to do with a certain gorgeous fair-haired hunter whose name begins with ‘T’; what I really want is to rule a realm of my own.
I should think that Endorë would do nicely; it’s extremely far away from Tirion and certain personages therein, and there’s absolutely no way they would end up there as well!
Cynics might say that Artanis’ self-righteous indignation is rather conveniently linked to the fact that one of Fëanor’s sons just threw her over – but while you might think that, we couldn’t possibly comment.