Thranduil wins Middle Earth’s Most Eligible Ellon Award

Mirkwood T.A. 6 King Thranduil has won the latest ‘Middle Earth’s Most Eligible Ellon Award’. Every 100 years or so, the women of Middle Earth vote on which male elf lingering on the Hither Shores is the most eligible, taking into account factors such as looks, intelligence, musical ability, and muscle mass. This year’s shortlist was as follows: Lord Elrond of Imladris Círdan the Shipwright Elladan … Continue reading Thranduil wins Middle Earth’s Most Eligible Ellon Award

Elderly man stabbed in vicious Shire attack

Hobbiton T.A.3019 Hobbits and Men have been left stunned after yesterday’s vicious attack on a defenceless old man in the village of Hobbiton. The man, who The Times of Arda can reveal was none other than the revered wizard Saruman the White, had been living peaceably in Bag End for some time, having moved to the Shire in search of a quiet retirement spot. Saruman formed … Continue reading Elderly man stabbed in vicious Shire attack

Why you should choose Near Harad for your next winter getaway

Fo.A. 45 Ever since the Haradrim allied with Sauron during the War of the Ring, Near Harad’s reputation has suffered, particularly among the peoples of northwestern Middle Earth. However, with the war long since over and new trade routes opening up between Harad, Gondor and the North, there has never been a better time to take advantage of a trip to Harad to discover its … Continue reading Why you should choose Near Harad for your next winter getaway

Formenos Technologies enters administration

F.A. 1495 Formenos Technologies, long considered one of Aman’s most successful technology and metalworking enterprises, has today announced that it will be entering administration. The shock announcement comes just weeks after the company’s controversial CEO, Fëanáro Finwion, fled Aman for the Hither Lands, horrifying the continent by slaughtering innocent Teleri mariners and then abandoning the rest of the Noldor. Formenos Technologies was notorious for its … Continue reading Formenos Technologies enters administration

Artanis and ‘love rat’ Tyelkormo break up in biggest scandal since Finwë’s remarriage

Tirion, F.A. 1487 Artanis Finarfinion and Tyelkormo Fëanorion have indisputably been Tirion’s golden couple for the last few decades. With both of them enjoying stunning good looks, renowned athleticism, and shared royal pedigree, pundits were betting on a marriage within the next century. However, it has just emerged that the seemingly inseparable pair have split up acrimoniously, and shocking rumours of Tyelkormo’s alleged infidelity are … Continue reading Artanis and ‘love rat’ Tyelkormo break up in biggest scandal since Finwë’s remarriage